Distraction. A theme I’ve been identifying and exploring over the last few months. I often find myself reflecting, trying to ensure I’m staying in this state of bliss; a feeling I identified, I nurtured, and I explored when traveling. Many express that they “found themselves while traveling.” Many seek travel for that exact reason. Whether you view it as running away from your life or chasing the unknown – it’s a true concept.

I think one of the things I fell in love with when I was gone, was myself. Finding solitude. Being comfortable with the constant sound of my own voice churning in my head. It sounds strange to say but I spent a lot of time unpacking a lot of things.

The common theme though that still gets in the way of this truly blissful experience is simply distraction. Steeping in your thoughts can be an exhaustive place to stay. Spending too much time in one moment can lead to questioning who you are; why you think that way or why you continue finding yourself in the same situation time and time again. It can lead you to recognize that you are lonely; that you are not in the place in life you thought you would or should be. Let’s agree that we don’t spend a ton of time marinating in the positive. In a nutshell, it seems to be a place that doesn’t feel good.

Even as I’m writing this post, I’m challenged with things that seem way more interesting than feeling vulnerable. The reason I want to push through and write about this is because I want you to know you’re not alone. I had a similar conversation with friends recently. I continue to encourage those around me to write. To let it out. To sift through the thoughts regardless of how challenging it may feel. A friend shared her fear of sitting down and writing because she knows it would acknowledge the reality of being alone. We would rather be distracted in a false happiness then work our way through the realities and ideally find true happiness – JOY. I felt the exact same way and still struggle even though I realize how much writing has helped me process and move forward. It’s uncomfortable BUT it’s healing too.

Distraction has been a way of life and something I am recognizing as a coping mechanism of sorts. We live in a distracted society. We don’t appreciate being aware of the things that make us feel negative. Whether Depressed. Lonely. Sad. Grieving. Lack of fulfillment. It’s a heck of a lot easier to distract your mind then to deal. It’s easier to live in a false sense of happiness than to deal with our insecurities. I loved my distractions. Friends. Alcohol. Events. Work. Television. Social Outings. But at what cost? It’s expected. We live in a world where we celebrate those falsehoods. We crave them. Money. Fame. Notoriety. Dream Vacations. Kids. Being skinny. Dream job.

We all have our ideas of what drives our happiness; or what stories we make up of what happiness in others looks like. Cue the highlight reel on social media! This is a nurtured trait that we seek and we feed constantly. We all know that – yet we search and compare daily. We live in a world where it’s never good enough. “You can’t have it all. You have to settle. You have to choose. You can’t be married, have children, your dream career… all at the same time. Life is about give and take… ” Well, dang it. I have given way more than I’ve taken in my opinion. I’m OVER IT.

I am a true believer that I can change this ideal. I can re-frame the context of the world I’m familiar with here in the US. I can live my best life at the age of 31. The more I talk about this idea, the more I realize that people think it’s incredible… courageous even.  Thinking they could never do the same. I am having trouble understanding why that is.
Breaking down ideas on why we believe the way we do has been such an interesting mind-game. I spend a lot of time in this head of mine. It has become a place of exploration. Curiosity. I choose, most days, to really think through things that make me question myself; my choices.

The one thing I know for sure.  Nothing can feed your soul.
Fulfillment comes from within you.

Rebuilding, relearning, re-calibrating the mind isn’t a task for the weary. I’m in it for the long game.

More to come on this topic so stay tuned!

Until next time,

A