I have been struggling with the idea of going back to work full-time because I’m trying so hard to maintain this blissful life that I’ve found.  I want to work and do something meaningful, while still maintaining the balance I found in Rwanda.  You work hard during working hours and then you go home. You’re present. You enjoy meals with your family. You spend time with friends. Here in the US, it’s almost frowned upon.  You aren’t working hard enough unless you’re available 24/7.

I’m curious if this is something that I can change – for me.

Is it possible to be successful in the US while still maintaining your balance and sanity?  Can you really “have it all”?

I recently was encouraged to read a book called The Passion Test. This book shows you step by step how to identify your top five passions, and then provides the guidance to align your life with these passions. I enjoyed these activities immensely.  It helped me refocus my energy and really think about what I wanted my life to look like.

I think we often forget the control we have over our lives. We wish for more time or that we traveled more. We want our lives to mean something yet we struggle with the cultural norms to “keep up with the Jones'”.  One of the exercises in the Passion Test is to write a speech for your 100th birthday party.  When it comes down to it,  we don’t want it to say that we spent countless hours in the office or that we made 1 million dollars but never took vacation; yet how many of us take pride in the amount of hours we work a week or how busy we are? How many people in your company brag about never taking a vacation?

One of the take-away’s from my trip was to take more ownership of my time; or perhaps better stated – to ensure that I make my time count.

I actually get misty-eyed when thinking about this idea because we only get one shot at life. I am 31 years old and feel quite privileged to have this experience relatively early in life. Stepping away from the life I created helped me prioritize and refocus on what matters to me.  When abroad, I was constantly writing about the idea of just being. Just existing. Taking in my surroundings. I felt more aware of the minutes within each day. I was able to acknowledge the people around me or the way it felt when the ocean breeze brushed against my cheek. I took note of the flavors I was tasting instead of just shoveling in food because I had to rush to my next meeting.   Enjoying the beauty of nature was my favorite past-time.  Are you thinking – of course, you were on vacation? I believe that I can create the same experience at home, with a job.

Although we need to work to fund our lives, should we allow our career to define it?
My answer to that is a big NO!

I believe that I can create a life – a marriage, a career, my friendship circle, my extracurricular’s – that all support the lifestyle I want.  When I did these exercises in the Passion Test, it was abundantly clear what my priorities are.  Simply put, I want to maintain a life of bliss/peace; I want a dynamic marriage and family life; I want to do something that matters in the world.

These ideals are now driving my decisions.  If I hear of a job, a volunteer opportunity or even an invitation to dinner – I ask myself if it aligns with the lifestyle I want or the life I am creating.  To some, this might seem like an obvious idea, but I have been living on autopilot for a little too long and saying yes to things I didn’t want to do.  I’ve become very thoughtful in my decision-making and trying to not jump into something that doesn’t align.

I am on a mission to create the life I want… and although its going against the current so to speak, my hope is that this post encourages you to consider doing your life differently.

I don’t think I’m alone in this idea… in fact, I know I’m not because I have had this conversation with many of my friends recently.  The question I continue to ask is what are you waiting for?

We all know the cliché statements about only having one life or making your time count, but at what point do we actually make a change? If you feel stagnant or you’re questioning where you’re at in life or perhaps you know you want to do something but haven’t taken a leap yet – I’d challenge you to join me on this journey.

I have to warn you that you should expect to feel uncomfortable. It will undoubtedly make you question your self, your ability, and even your desires. I have days filled with new energy and excitement about what’s ahead and I have days filled with anxiety, questioning if what I want in life is actually doable.  I believe it’s a journey worth taking. I have to remind myself daily of the bigger picture.  A life of bliss; a dynamic marriage and family and doing something that matters in the world.

I should note that it’s good to have friends that help keep you accountable.  It sounds silly that you need someone to remind you of what’s important to you – but my smart and beautiful friend Audra reminds me regularly. I will be contemplating a new opportunity with her and trying to pro/con it out. Within seconds of me even trying to rationalize or justify it, she’ll say “No!  It’s not a fit.”

True Story: I was speaking with her about the possibility of accepting a certain job and how it’s not exactly what I want but I could make it work. I kid you not she looked at me straight in the eye and said, “No, this isn’t AT ALL what you want.”  The funny thing is I knew that. I was trying to convince myself otherwise.  This job would have conflicted with my desire to have a dynamic family life. It would have pulled me into a million different directions; it would have required me to attend evening and weekend events. It would have challenged one of my biggest “definers” of a successful life.  Why on earth would I EVER compromise on that?

Lucky for me, Audra shut it down!  I ended up signing up for a temp agency to buy myself some time as I figured out what I wanted to do.  I simultaneously started reading the Passion Test at the recommendation of a dear friend and personal guru, Debbie Peterson!  Through the exercises and a few timely conversations with friends, I realized what it is I want to do.  It sounds ridiculous but the Passion Test shares this idea that when you have a clear idea of what’s important to you, the universe will begin working in your favor.

In the week that I chose to just go for it – I landed my first consulting job for an international organization.  This role is the first step of a much larger vision that I have for myself but needless to say I’m ecstatic.  Until Next Time –

Going Against The Current

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